What date should I have sex on?
This is the question I am constantly asked by young, and not only young women? Men are usually not interested in this question. They have long known the answer to it. What interesting answers to this question did not offer me girls: and on the third, and on the fifth, and on the eighth, and on the tenth. There are also harsh options: only after the wedding. But by and large, in the modern age of contraception, this question does not matter, even on the first date. Some women in my practice successfully married men with whom they had sex on the first date; some women could not marry, despite the fact that they "did not give" until the very last moment. I can already feel the lovely readers beginning to resent it: "It can't be, I had sex on the nth date, and he left me right after sex, because he thought I was a whore!"
Let's figure it out!
Option one: there are men who are not Mature to a serious relationship. They are at the stage of life when sex is necessary for pleasure. Such men either no longer come to a woman after the first sex, or continue the affair for a while, if the sex was too good. Option two: a man wants a family. He meets a girl, assesses her mental qualities and understands that he wants to try to build a relationship with her. A man who is ready and wants a serious relationship, already on the first date, subconsciously understands whether a woman is suitable for him or not. Then he becomes completely indifferent to which date will have sex. Moreover, delaying this moment on the part of the woman will only strain the man, because he has already made a decision. An adult, personally Mature man, of course, will be ready to wait until the woman decides, until he suspects that the woman is playing Dynamo. If he suspects, then sex will not take place on any date. In youth, most men like to seek sex from unapproachable women. This is how they develop. In older age, these marriage games are less attractive, and sometimes just boring for a man, especially (I emphasize) for a man who is looking for a serious relationship.
Option three (the most common and most interesting): the man is no longer a womanizer as in the first version, but does not crave family relationships, as in the second version. In General, an ordinary average man who needs to meet, think, choose, wait, look closely, and generally understand himself. This type of man can leave after the first date, and can stay for life. What does it depend on? Let's look back a bit. Previously, a man had to marry a woman in order to have sex with her. Why? Because there were no contraceptives before, and no woman wanted to give birth without marriage. And men wanted to be sure of their paternity, so they took women-virgins as wives. Now sex is no longer the deciding factor for marriage. Sex can be with anyone, anywhere, but for marriage, a woman must have high personal qualities. This factor will be decisive. Now let's look at the other side. Imagine that you are playing cards, for example, a fool. First, you throw out the smallest cards, and save the ACE of trumps until the very last moment to throw out this trump at the most necessary moment. The same thing happens in life. What is most valuable to us, we cherish most of all. When we enter into a relationship, we first give the person something that is less valuable to us, then as trust grows, we give out something more valuable. So, when a man sees that a woman is already morally ready for sex, wants it, but "does not give it", he begins to think that she is saving the most valuable thing for last, i.e. sex. Thus, after a man has received this most long-awaited sex, he immediately leaves, since the most valuable thing he has already received and he has nothing more to get from this woman. In addition, as I have already noted above, sex is not a great value for men now, so a woman who behaves as if sex is her trump card is not a value for a man either.
The situation of such a woman is further aggravated by this point: by delaying sex, a woman wants to achieve something from a man (not just so she does it:)). A man feels this subconsciously. He understands that sex will be in exchange for attention, gifts, proof of love, and... continue on your own. What does this mean? It means that a woman is selling sex in this way. And for a man, just such a woman will be perceived subconsciously as a whore. Here is such an unexpected alignment!:) I will emphasize again: there is a difference between a woman who is not ready for sex yet, then the man quietly waits. And a woman who is ready, but waiting for an unclear number of dates, then the sex trade begins for a man. So what should I do? Get all this stuff out of your head and live with your heart. Achieve men not by manipulating sex, but by their personal qualities. Such a woman creates for a man the feeling that sex is only a small crumb of what she can do for him, that he will have years of knowledge of this woman ahead of him, and each time she will open a new face for a man. A man will never leave such a woman!