Making plans together
Shared plans and dreams in a relationship
In any relationship, joint plans add an additional element of reliability and commitment to the future. The first and most important common project of the partners is, of course, the creation of their own Union. To implement it, two people need to feel a sincere desire to be together and realize all the consequences of this decision: new responsibility, support and participation in the life of the other... For the Union to exist happily ever after, it is important for partners to perceive it from the very beginning as a project of their entire life and take care of it in a series of life's troubles. All future plans of the family will be based on this basic project, without the implementation of which it simply does not make sense to think about everything else.
Therefore, it is worth talking about your desires. Each of the two needs to share personal plans so that the couple can discuss them and include them in joint projects. How many children would we like to have? Buy your own home or rent an apartment? It is important to understand that plans can be flexible: as the relationship develops, one partner may at some point give in to the other's wishes.
To dream together is useful even when there is no absolute certainty that these dreams will come true. If two people look far ahead ("how good it will be for us there!"), then they are determined to invest in their project for a long time and, accordingly, stay together. Such dreams are for two people only their own, but they are available and combining them the space of imagination. It's worth looking ahead. You don't have to share your dreams to help your partner realize them, but you need to know their dreams (as well as your own!) to treat them with respect.
At the same time, it is important for each of the partners to keep their own plans and dreams. This is the only way to find a balance between the two forces that drive lovers: the desire to merge together and be independent individuals. Today, the reason for many divorces is precisely the fact that one of the spouses does not feel enough support for their aspirations in marriage, and does not find it possible to preserve their own dreams.
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