"Love is the ability to give and not take "
After a little thought, a little experience, and a little bit of everything else, I realized one thing: Love can be different. It is not uncommon for outspoken cynics to declare that there is no love. You know, at some point I understood their point of view and agreed with it, in love we often show selfishness, self-love... and this often overrides the real feelings.When people break up, they often begin to say this phrase "I was not ready for a serious relationship.»
Yes, and do you know why? Because a serious relationship entails great obligations… For the most part, a person is not ready for obligations, but not for love itself.We begin to demand a lot from each other, sometimes even impossible things. And when we are not given this, we suddenly begin to believe that we are not loved, that we are not needed, we are offended, often break up... or maybe we just do not love much, or do not love our partner, but ourselves?..
You know, there was a time in my life when I loved a man very much, but he did not reciprocate in any way, he only played on feelings. And all the time I wanted something from him, waited for something, suffered, suffered. And then, there was one crucial night, he just went to bed, and I just watched him: how he sleeps, how he breathes, how he lies, I thought about what dreams he sees... and then I realized that I absolutely do not need anything from him, nothing. The only thing that really mattered to me was that he was there. I realized that I loved him for what he was, no matter how banal it might sound. You will think that this is a long-used idea and everyone understands it, but no… This is not enough to understand, it must be accepted in yourself. But how long can such love last? I don't know, but as long as it lasts, I hold on to it like a lifeline. It warms me in solitude because I know that somewhere there is a very good person, that he lives, that he just simply exists... and my loneliness goes away. And against the background of such feelings, selfishness is lost, and this is important. It seems to me that if you love a person, you should give them freedom in their actions, trust them and do not oblige them to anything, then you will feel the very ease that is necessary in love.
And personally, I don't accept jealousy in love.
What is jealousy? First of all, a sense of ownership and selfishness. Yes, I understand, it is very difficult to accept infidelity and so on, BUT when you love, when you love first of all not yourself, but your partner, you will forgive him for this infidelity... Yes, maybe, but there is one drawback to love that we ourselves give it – the loss of all freedom. When a person loses his freedom, he loses himself, his identity… This is not a call for infidelity and debauchery, but we can not rape each other and not allow it, all the same, sooner or later, if a person wants to, it will happen. Forbidden fruit is doubly sweet... I don't know what to do in such situations, really… but trying to resist it is still useless, it seems to me. True love covers EVERYTHING… Those who love will forgive.
Before my eyes, a loved one constantly sticks to girls, to put it mildly. At first it made me angry, but then I realized that it was useless to be angry, either accept it or tell him not to do it. In my case, it's stupid to talk about it, it's incorrigible, so I took it.
In General, I think that if You are not satisfied with something in a relationship, you should not throw scandals, but you should sit down and talk, just say in a human way that something is unpleasant to you, that something is bothering you, something is disturbing you. If a person loves you, they will understand and do something about it so that You do not worry, and if they do not love you... well, then it is not fate, what can I say...
And I only partially agree with the judgment that you have to fight for love. It is necessary, but by REASONABLE methods. I think that love is a kind of self-sacrifice...
As one wise man said, " Love is the ability to give and not take "