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Lessons You Learn Living Together For The First Time.

Updated: May 21, 2020

First of all, make sure you're on the same page and you want to live together, many couples live together and that's sometimes as far as the relationship goes, make sure you talk about the things you both want out of the relationship and how long you want to wait for anything to happen.


Make sure you're both on the same page with a number of things.

Are you looking at getting engaged, do you want to be married in the next few years or are you both happy with just living together?

Have you spoken about children or do you already have children and you've moved in with a ready-made family?


Some things to consider moving forward.


1. Compromise.

Life is full of compromise, when you start living together you will find that you need to discuss a lot more things and compromise with each other about the future and things you both want. Whether it’s choosing what style of sofa to buy, whose turn it is to do the dishes, or whether the windows stay open or closed or getting too hot at night and needing a fan in the room, learning to be flexible and find common ground is key. The reality is you’re going to disagree on some of these things. A big one a lot of couples disagree with is the hearing being on too long or not being warm enough if its off, it can be difficult if one of you feels the cold a lot more than the other. These things are simple things but you will have to realise its not just about you anymore.


2. Communication.

When you live together, you’ll learn to talk to each other much more often. Instead of letting the little things pile up, like washing left on the floor, or a towel, bits in the butter that sort of thing, you’ll learn to effectively communicate with your partner to express your needs and feelings while also understanding what your partner needs in order to feel comfortable and understood.

Living together is bound to bring some conflict, you’ll learn that not every issue needs to lead to a large-scale disagreement. In fact, most things can be solved before they come to a head by calmly talking about them right then and there.


3. Finances.

Regardless of how you choose to deal with your finances within a relationship (a joint bank account, 50/50 split, etc.), living with your partner means all cards are on the table when it comes to talking about money. No longer will you just do it yourself, when it comes to checking your balance you’ll need to be upfront and accountable about how you’re paying bills, who is collecting rent, how groceries will be split, and more.

Living together gives you and your partner a front-row seat to how each of you manages your finances, you may find it feels a bit uncomfortable to talk about finances and spending habits at first, but it doesn’t have to be scary. Part of living together is creating normality around discussing shared finances.


4. Still have your own time.

As excited as you may be to live with the person you love, you’ll soon realize that personal space and alone time is still important. After all, you’re both individuals with different likes, interests, and needs, so it’s okay if those don’t line up all of the time. With no more physical separation of your lives, you’ll need to consciously create that separation in a way that works for you both.


5. The importance of, we, time, spending time together.

Just as it is important to have “me” time, moving in together means making an effort to create “we” time, just time for the two of you to feel special and connected outside of the day-to-day rigmarole. Before you share a space, date night happens by thoughtfully setting up plans to meet up, go out, or make dinner together, have that early night and cuddle and watch a movie together. But when those activities become a part of your combined routines, they start to feel less romantic and more of the norm.


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