How to communicate with your girlfriend
You may have been fine at the beginning of your relationship. Any relationship needs to be worked on so that it only gets stronger. To improve the quality of relationships, you should work on your communication skills. If you know how to make communication more effective, it will be easier for both of you to talk openly with your partner, and you will get even closer, no matter what stage your relationship is at.
How to learn to listen
Ask questions. This is the easiest way to make conversations more meaningful. Every day, ask each other how the day went, how your partner is feeling, and be interested in each other's other daily activities. Ask questions to clarify something you've said or to encourage your partner to be more open.
Use leading questions. Ask General questions first, and then gradually move on to more specific topics.
You can ask the girl how the day went, and then ask about an unpleasant incident or a good event that happened at work.
When a girl begins to describe her day, try linking her words to something you've discussed before, such as "This has happened before, hasn't it?" or "I can't believe it happened despite what happened ... I spoke last week."
Ask the girl how she feels about the events described. Let her know that you care and offer your help.
Paraphrase the girl's words and think about them. Often in relationships, partners do not feel that they are heard and understood. If you paraphrase what the girl said, she will understand that you have listened to her and are trying to make sense of what she said. Try to calm down and put your thoughts in order if you find it difficult to concentrate on what the girl is talking about.
Speak in your usual voice. If the girl takes your words as a mockery, the conversation will quickly end.
Try not to abuse this technique. If you do this too often, it will start to cause irritation.
Use your own words in your phrases. Thanks to this, the girl will understand that you are thinking about what she said, and not just repeating her words.
You can add introductory constructions to keywords: "So you're saying that ..." or "I Think I understand. You mean that ... Right?"
Pay attention to nonverbal signs. Gestures often speak volumes. The way you and your girlfriend move during a conversation may be random, or it may Express your subconscious mood. Don't look at the girl, but if you think something is going wrong, ask her if she is upset. Add that you drew attention to her gestures.
If a girl crosses her arms, this may indicate a defensive position, detachment, or emotional closeness.
If a girl doesn't look you in the eye, she may not be interested in what you are saying, or she feels ashamed of something she said or did, or she is in her own thoughts and doesn't want to communicate.
If the girl turns her body away, this may indicate that she is not interested, she is dissatisfied or feels detached.
A loud and aggressive voice can indicate that there is a conflict or it will soon arise, that there is too much emotion in the conversation. Perhaps the girl also feels that you are not listening or do not understand her.
Some gestures may be random, so don't blame the girl for being upset or distant and trying to hide it. Try saying this: "I noticed your posture and gestures. You seem upset, but your words suggest otherwise. Is something bothering you?"
How to talk to a girl
Be honest and open. Being honest means not lying to a girl or misleading her, and it's quite simple. However, frankness makes a person vulnerable to some extent, and not all people are ready for this. If you find it difficult to be open with others, you will need to work on this in order to maintain the relationship.
Open and Frank communication is the Foundation of a strong relationship. If you can't be honest with each other, you will inevitably run into problems.
Tell the girl the whole truth. Do not hide or repress your feelings, because if she finds out about it, she will be upset.
If you find it difficult to be honest, tell your girlfriend about this problem and try to explain the reasons. If she knows that it is difficult for you to open up, she will support you. It may ask you leading questions or suggest solutions.
Think before you say anything. Many people are in such a hurry to Express their opinions that they forget to think about their words. You should think before you say something yourself and before you respond to the girl's words.
Think about what you want to say before you say it out loud.
Understand your feelings before you tell the girl about them.
Speak as clearly and clearly as possible.
If you need to answer a girl's words, let her finish speaking. Think a little about what she said and try to give a clear answer.
Speak with respect. Strive to always communicate respectfully. Respect is an obvious requirement for many people. However, you should always monitor your words, tone, context, and gestures. This will allow you to show your respect.
Be prepared to take responsibility for everything you say or do during a conversation, even if it comes to an argument.
Both of you should state your feelings and Express your thoughts, but you should do so with sensitivity.
Recognize your partner's feelings. Try to understand what the girl feels and why. At the very least, you should respect the fact that she has such feelings.
Watch your posture. Do not slump in your chair, avoid eye contact, or do other things while talking to a girl. Look her in the eye and pay all your attention.
Respect her answers. Don't interrupt and tell her that some of her feelings are wrong.
If there is a misunderstanding between you, do not lose your temper and do not get upset. It is better to ask the girl questions and ask her to explain what she means.
Speak for yourself. At the peak of emotions, especially during an argument or if you are offended, it is very easy to move to accusations ("You are lying and offending me"). However, if you use the pronoun "I", it will be easier to find a common language. With the help of statements with the pronoun "I", you can say that you are offended, without blaming your partner. a Correct statement consists of three parts:
Expression of emotion ("I feel ...")
An honest and dispassionate description of the behavior that makes you feel this emotion ("I feel ... when you ...")
An explanation of why your behavior or circumstances trigger this emotion in you ("I feel ... when you ... because ...")
Don't rush things. If you are still Dating for a short time, or if you have not shared personal experiences with each other before, it is better not to rush. Of course, you will need to work on communicating on a daily basis, but you should also talk about how comfortable you both are sharing your feelings and thoughts, or how long it will take you to get there.
Do not rush to start conversations about something difficult, painful, or important. The time for these conversations will come later, when you will both be able to talk about such topics.
Don't rush your girl and don't let her rush you.
Agree on what pace will suit both of you, and remember that all the efforts you will make will strengthen your relationship.
Talk about yourself. It is useful for everyone to tell your partner a new fact about yourself from time to time, especially if you are not used to talking about your feelings and something personal. Talking about yourself will allow you to gradually open up to your partner, and he may do the same in response. Try starting with the following phrases:
I'm a man who ...
I would like people to know that I ...
When I try to talk about the personal, ..
How to work together on communication skills
Experiment with communication styles. There are many ways to communicate, and they are all good in their own way. However, for some people, certain methods are more appropriate than others, so you may have to try different ways to find out what you both personally like.[
Try to Express your emotions more often. Tell the girl about your feelings and ask her to do the same.
Try to speak with facts. Some people find it easier to talk about facts rather than emotions. For example, say: "I don't think I make enough money" instead of "I'm sad and I'm worried about money."
Try to become confident conversationalists. Self-confidence consists in the ability to clearly and confidently speak about your feelings, opinions, and needs, without violating the rights of your partner.
Avoid passive communication. With this style of communication, a person does not Express themselves and hides their thoughts, desires and needs, which greatly harms the relationship.
Before you start talking about serious things, try to "turn off" all emotions. Before an important conversation, calm down so that emotions do not interfere with the conversation. At the same time, it will be important to pay attention to the partner's emotions.
Talk about small things. Talking about everyday things is useful in any relationship, because it strengthens the bond in a couple. Remember past events, laugh at them, tell each other what you did that day, ask about each other's plans for the weekend, or just share interesting or unusual observations with each other.
Talking about everyday things will help you get closer and get to know each other better.
Ask the girl to tell you more about what happened.
Your questions should sound so that the girl sees your interest. She should not get the impression that you suspect her of something or do not believe something.
Find time to communicate. Many people are very busy, and relationships suffer because of this. However, everything can be fixed if you always find time to communicate. Even if you have a crazy pace of life, it is important to set aside time for honest and open communication in the same way that you find time to sleep, eat, and move from work and home.[
If your busy schedule allows both of you to organize your lives appropriately, plan the time you will spend together. Try to spend time together at least once a week, so that communication remains open and confidential.
When talking to a girl, do not be distracted by other things. Turn off the TV or radio, or turn off the sound of your phone so that nothing will disturb you.
Talk to each other while doing normal things (such as driving a car or doing chores).
If your girlfriend looks sad or acts like she wants to talk about something, don't ignore this behavior. Ask her what happened and if she wants to talk to you.
These conversations should help you feel trust, intimacy, and loyalty.
Try contacting a specialist for help. It may be difficult for you to communicate, or recent events have disrupted the usual course of communication. There's nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't mean you can't keep the relationship going. It just means that you need to work a little harder. You may need the help of a psychotherapist.
The therapist will help you and your girlfriend become more open and sociable.
You may need to work on trust, participation in your partner's life, and spending more time together.
Search for a specialist in your city on the Internet or ask your friends to recommend someone.
Spend time together, even if you are very busy.
Try to talk to each other more often. Start talking about small things and gradually move on to more complex and important things.
Don't expect a girl to talk about her thoughts and feelings the same way you do. All people are different, all relationships are different, so treat the girl with understanding and ask her to respect your feelings.
If you notice that a girl is annoyed, it may mean that she needs more personal space. Don't push her and respect her personal boundaries.