12 rules for serious online Dating
Today, there are more and more happy couples who met through the Internet. The virtual world is one of the richest resources where there are favorites for every taste. However, if your goal is a family and a full-fledged relationship, then you need to show awareness and caution. Psychologist Anastasia Ryazanova tells how to find a partner in the Internet space.
A man and a woman
1. Correctly fill in the form
Do you want to be taken seriously? Fill out the form without any negative comments or provocations. Aggressive statements are repulsive. Potential partners should not assume that you are offended by this world. Show a Mature and happy part of yourself. Instead of hundreds of photos, tell us more about what fills you, what you are happy about. And no racy bikinis. Let the other person wait to meet your personality, not your body. It is important to indicate intentions and weed out those who are looking for an easy relationship. This will save time and nerves. There are enough men and women searching for family and marriage on the Internet.
2. Block without a twinge of conscience
You don't need to explain why this or that person is not suitable for you. It is not necessary to have a debate about whose approach to life is more correct. It is impossible to please everyone. In the same way, you can't be satisfied with all the candidates. You don't owe anything to people you barely know.
Any advanced blogger will tell you that he often deletes unnecessary comments and always blocks negative users.
3. Call within one to three days
Say "no" to a long correspondence. It just doesn't make sense. There are people who are only interested in virtual communication. For example, these are prison inmates who have added photos of some handsome man from the Internet to their profile. Instead of making up a love story, talk on the phone. In 5 minutes of conversation, you will understand more about a person than from kilometers of correspondence in the chat. For example, not everyone agrees to communicate with a person who swears or is rude. You can have an additional phone number for security.
4. Make an appointment not immediately, but in 5 days
Who would you like to meet? With a person who consciously goes to meet you, or with someone who just suffers from boredom and is ready to occupy the evening with anyone? Since the purpose of Dating is a serious relationship, let the partner wait for the meeting. To do this, ask them to plan their first dates in advance.
5. Meet no more than once every 5 days
If in a stormy romance everything starts quickly and ends quickly,then in our case, it does not hurt to be cautious. When it comes to a serious relationship, you can't trust just a hormonal surge. For example, during PMS and ovulation, the chemical reaction between partners will be different. It is necessary to see the chosen one in different moods and under different life circumstances.
6. Try the best to find a partner
Think about why he insists on an extremely busy program if you barely know him. Here he scored a bowling Strike, and this is an occasion for screeching and hugging, and then passionate kisses. As a rule, the hottest men are pickup trucks or married men whose spouses are out of town for a couple of days. They need to reduce the distance to a minimum in a short time. Do not rush into the pool with your head. A Mature person understands that relationships become complete over time. Make sure that you are interested in the inner world of the interlocutor, and Vice versa. Pay attention to whether emotional intimacy is created, whether there is trust, confidence in the partner. When you are in a serious mood, it is important to check compatibility in all areas, not just sexual.
7. Respect your own boundaries
What to do when you are asked to send a photo in a bikini, come to visit, see you now, or, for example, go out of town with a man you don't know? Do you need to prove your trust and confirm that you are interested in your partner? When you set boundaries, 99% of manipulators who are demanding of their person are immediately eliminated. By the reaction to rejection, it becomes clear whether they are ready to respect you or try to push you.
8. Be yourself
This is one of the most important needs in a relationship. To love is to accept each other as we really are. One of the worst scenarios in life is to get involved in a relationship where you can't be yourself. Try to be sincere and real from the very beginning. However, it is not necessary to "expose" the soul too early. Frankness grows as the relationship develops.
9. Be friendly
Show respect. The Internet is a space where you can meet useful people. Don't snort: "I came to meet the man of my dreams, and here you are." Not all meetings will be equally pleasant. However, Dating is useful. You will clearly understand what exactly you are not ready to put up with and what qualities you are looking for in a future partner. Tune in to the fact that you are just getting acquainted. Including myself: with its own values, restrictions and limits. Do you feel that this is not your person? Be sensitive and honest: "I doubt that we are the same in some aspects of the relationship." Thank you for your time and attention. If a conflict is unavoidable, see point 2.
10. Put the relationship on play
This is one of the key methods of family therapy. 5 minutes of watching a couple communicate can show more than a four-hour conversation about their difficulties. At the diagnostic stage, the therapist does not interfere in the family quarrel to allow everyone to Express themselves in a natural way. Play means letting the familiar happen. You only need one person who will be right for you Observe the natural flow of relationships. What topics are being lined up? Where is the partner going? He calls you to the club, and you are not a lover of night life? He likes to philosophize, but you are bored with his long monologues? Are you in the same clouds? Resist the temptation to give the keys to your heart yourself. If you immediately share all your preferences, then at the stage of winning the chosen one will adjust to your desires. But you need to see reality. Trust your actions, not your words.
11. Listen to yourself
He is a good person, offers a lot of things, and you feel in your heart that it is not yours. What should I do if he insists on another meeting? If you don't want to communicate with him, admit it to yourself. Of course, you can give it a second chance, just in case you like it. But if one or two more dates could not convince — do not go against yourself. Be honest with yourself: if this is not the person you were looking for, don't live in illusions. Do not" pull " yourself into a relationship that will not make you happy. You can't hide from the truth. Always listen to your inner voice.
12. Immerse yourself in the world of abundance
Believe in your happy marriage. Every seller knows: "no" doesn't mean "no, never," it means "no, not now." Many people can't make you happy. Someone won't respond to a message or call back, someone won't come on a date. But this does not mean that you will not find your intended. Understand that you only need one person who will be right for you. Don't settle for less. Determine your height and match it. While waiting for a meeting with this person, it is useful to increase gratitude, care, sensitivity, tact, and the ability to Express love. Pump the missing qualities.