10 proven ways to meet people in America
For any woman who wants to get married and start a family, sooner or later there is an urgent question: where to find the right man? Not a man suitable for a one-night stand or for some non-binding, fleeting relationship — the kind she can find in any bar-but a man suitable for a long-term, serious relationship, and possibly later marriage.
I would like to define at the very beginning what exactly we women mean by the expression "suitable man". In my opinion, the best definition of such a man, suitable "for a constructive relationship", was given by Bridget Jones, the heroine of the book Helen Fielding. In Bridget's words, this is "a Mature, responsible man, not included in any of the following lists: alcoholics, workaholics, moral impotents, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomaniacs, chauvinists, brainwashers or Alphonses, perverts."
Many different articles have already been written about where you can meet a decent man. But about what places American women are looking for men, readers may not know so much. Therefore, I decided to clarify the situation with this article and tell you about where it is customary to meet men in America.
1. Internet Dating
The most popular type of Dating for Americans in the past few years has become online Dating. In America, as well as in Russia, there are a huge number of Dating sites that allow you to post your photos, videos and detailed information about yourself on the Internet.
2. Dating through friends
The advantage of this type of Dating is that you have the opportunity to learn more from your friends about the person they recommend to you before you meet them, which makes it much easier to communicate, especially on the first date. The main drawback of Dating through friends is the fact that the idea of who for you can be a worthy groom, you and your friends may be completely different.
3. At work
This type of Dating is becoming less and less popular in America, because, according to the law on sexual harassment, any signs of attention at work in relation to the opposite sex can be considered as actions of a sexual nature. Flowers, gifts, phone calls, compliments, e-mails, text messages, ambiguous jokes – all this can be regarded as sexual harassment, which will inevitably lead to the dismissal of the employee who shows signs of attention, and, quite likely, subsequent legal proceedings.
Now, when having a well-paid stable job is considered an unprecedented piece of luck, men are so afraid of losing their place that they have simply forgotten how to react to women at work. The men I see in our office in America every day remind me of the characters in the movie "only girls in jazz" — two guys who get a job in a women's jazz orchestra and pretend to be women musicians who, trying to suppress their sexual desires, repeat to themselves like a mantra: "I'm a girl, I'm a girl!".
4. School or Institute
I know a few couples in America who met at school or at College, but they all belong to the generation that is now about 50-60 years old. These days, Americans are getting married at an increasin
gly Mature age. Getting married for the first time at 35 and having their first child at 38 is now considered the norm for an American woman. People change, develop, and "grow" out of their school or College romances, so relationships formed at school or at the Institute are increasingly broken up and do not lead to marriage.
5. Meeting at a public event
In America, all kinds of social events are very popular: gala dinners, dinners and parties in a variety of places. This may be a charity meeting, a book club party, a professional conference, or the Grand opening or closing of a cultural event. Unlike the Russians, the Americans can easily come in contact with strangers. In America, it is customary to speak to strangers in public places (in a restaurant, in transport, in a store), this is perceived by others as something completely natural and not binding.
The advantage of Dating at a public event is that you can have a nice conversation with a person, without feeling obligated to continue the acquaintance. This circumstance is also a disadvantage of Dating at this kind of parties.
According to the media company Hearst communications, Inc., according to a survey of American Dating services eHarmony and Harris Interactive among 10.675 men and women who have married in America in the past few years:
19.4% of newlyweds met online
17.2% met their future chosen one (chosen one) through friends
17.2% met their love at work
8.8% went to school or College together
8.3% met at a party or social event.
Where did the other 29% meet?
Here are a few more less traditional and even sometimes unexpected places to meet:
6) in the Church
You may be surprised that the vast majority of Americans are very religious, especially in the South and Midwest of America. If I go to the store on a Sunday morning and see people of all ages dressed up and walking in the same direction, I know for sure that they are going to Church. In the Church, Americans (both women and men) they go like on a holiday: they wear all the best that they have – bright dresses, expensive suits, high-heeled shoes, fashion accessories, and even hats.
It seems that they are not going to Church to communicate with God, but to a fashionable party – to show themselves and look at others. In fact, this is true: the Church in America (unlike the Russian Orthodox Church) is, first of all, a place of communication, and only then – worship. Therefore, Dating in the Church is very popular in America.
7) at a sports match
It is enough to live in America for a couple of months to understand that there are two main religions in America: religion (in the traditional sense of the word) and American football. American football, with its ubiquitous presence — in the form of billboards on the streets, in the form of posters in public places, on TV in restaurants and bars, in the form of bumper stickers on cars and in the form of banners and flags on neighborhoods — fills so much space that it is impossible to escape. In its popularity, fan frenzy and idolatry, the passion for American football is very similar to religious fanaticism.
Therefore, when a woman comes to a football match, she can easily talk to a man she likes (after watching him and determining which team he supports) and cheer with him for the rest of the match. Joint emotional excitement about winning or losing your favorite team, as you know, strongly bring together. The disadvantage of this type of Dating is that few women are able to endure the deafening roar of football fans around them for four hours, and, in addition, it is difficult to determine who is married and who is free at a sports match.
8) on courses
In America, all kinds of courses are very popular: foreign language courses, courses for novice dog breeders, cooking courses, courses for Amateur gardeners, courses for spiritual self-improvement, meditation, psychology, photography-you can not list everything. Americans usually get to know each other very easily, because any course is a meeting place for people who share common interests, which means that they have something to talk about.
9) in a fitness club
You probably think that in a fitness club – flushed, with drops of sweat on your face and wet hair-you look completely unattractive. But, oddly enough, many of the men I've talked to find this look very sexy. Especially if a woman is in good shape and dressed in something tight (a bright t-shirt and shorts are ideal). My friend met her boyfriend at a sports club: they attended kickboxing classes together.
Any fitness club is usually full of energetic young people with athletic physiques, many of whom play sports with passion or exercise with a coach. If you take part in the same games or train with the same coach, it will not be difficult for you to find a topic for the first conversation. In addition, if you visit this club as regularly as it does, you will have the opportunity to gradually get to know each other.
10) in the queue
Yes, Yes, imagine, there are queues in America too! There are very few of them, and they move amazingly fast. The best queue for Dating is a queue at a self-service cafe. It is important to choose a cafe that men like to go to. In America, for example, a chain of Mexican cafes is very popular among men, perhaps because you can eat something satisfying there: a quesadilla or burrito with meat, beans and cheese.
The queue in this cafe is a great place to get acquainted, especially if you often go to this cafe during the working day for lunch. "What do you think is the most delicious thing in this cafe? "or" have you ever tried this dish? " are quite appropriate questions to start a conversation.